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By jakkie, Aug 6 2019 01:39AM

If you didn’t fear judgement, what would you do?

If you didn’t care what others thought, how would you behave?

If you didn’t need approval, how different would your life be?

Take a moment to reflect on these questions because it will show you how much of your life’s decisions and behaviour is dependant on what others think. It will also show you how much you need others to make you feel good about yourself. It may also be an indication of how secure or insecure you are about yourself.

Our greatest need is to be loved and to be accepted and sometimes we will go to great lengths to get it. To be loved and accepted runs deep within our DNA, it’s what keeps us safe. If we are the black sheep, or the ‘outsider’ within our group, then we run the risk of being ridiculed, not being accepted and in our ancient past, we were killed for it. If we were not loved as a child, it can have devastating effects on us as an adult, constantly seeking the love we never had to make us feel wanted, worthy and valuable.

We crave love, acceptance and approval because we believe we'd be NOTHING if we didn’t have it. Humans have such a strong ego and the ego needs to be seen and heard. What is the point of being alive if no-one noticed us or valued who we are?

Another reason why we may seek love and approval is if we’re lacking the chemicals oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin in our body. When these hormones are released into our bodies, we experience feelings of happiness, relaxation, improve mood, love, and they lower levels of depression. When we touch – cuddle, hug, or hold hands, give or receive love – our bodies release these “feel good” hormones. This is why sometimes we get addicted to love! What we are in fact addicted to, are these feel good hormones.

If you seek constant love, validation and recognition from others, then you’ll probably find you are acting out unhealthy patterns and your life has become reliant on getting the ‘fix’ you need. This can show up in all sorts of ways, but the most common are; dysfunctional relationships, addictions, depression, anger, a sense of failure, putting others down, showing off, highly competitive, promiscuity and crime.

In the past, people used to give and receive love, validation and approval from a small pool of people who were usually family members, school teachers, neighbours and friends. Today however we are connected to millions of people on the internet and people are now seeking love, approval and validation through social media. As a society we are becoming obsessed by our ‘likes’ on facebook to confirm how much we are liked or not liked. As a society, we have started to believe the symbols of confirmation from virtual strangers are a true indication of our worth, even though they are so far from the truth. This has been devastating, so much so, that some people have even taken their own lives because they believe they aren’t "liked". This is very tragic.

If you rely on others for their approval of you, you will never be happy, because you can’t please everyone all of the time. If you do please everyone all of the time, then you’re probably feeling exhausted!! The only approval you need is the approval from yourself. This is the journey of self love and self worth. We wouldn’t need validation or seek love off others if we loved and approved of ourselves. In fact our lives would be completely different if we didn’t care what others thought.

So I put these questions to you again and I invite you to answer them honestly.

If you didn’t fear judgement, what would you do?

If you didn’t care what others thought, how would you behave?

If you didn’t need approval, how different would your life be?

So my message for you this month is to do, say, or act on whatever you’ve been busting to do for ages. Go ahead and do what your heart is yearning for, regardless of being judged for it. Pick one thing that you know has been holding you back because you’ve been too worried what others will think of you.

When you live your truth, all the cells in your body slot back into alignment. You feel good, on your own, without needing others to feed you.

Work on loving and approving of yourself no matter what other people think, because you’re great! Stop hiding, be brave and take a leap of faith.

Now is the time step up and be proud of who you truly are.

By jakkie, Jul 9 2019 06:33AM

Do you know someone who needs to control their environment, as well as the people in it?

It may even be you!

People who need to control everything in their lives live in a perpetual state of fear.

This is not to judge or criticise this behaviour, but it’s to understand why, as humans, we do this.

As a child, they probably suffered huge disappointments that kept them on their guard. If they were a child of divorce, for instance, they learned that love is fleeting and that people can't be counted on to keep their promises. If they were the child of an alcoholic, or if there was high conflict in their home, they don't really know what it means to be emotionally safe. If one (or both) of their parents was physically or emotionally unavailable, they learned not to expect much from people. Or if they grew up in a home where money was a constant source of strife, they probably became determined to make their own way in life and to never allow themselves to depend on others.

All of these scenarios can, and usually do, result in controlling behaviour.

Ok so let’s be really honest here, is this you? Are you controlling? We never actually like to admit it because we usually think it’s others not seeing the world as we do, therefore it’s OTHERS who have an issue not US.

Here’s a fun quiz to find out if you’re a bit of a control freak (although you probably already know the answer).

For each question, choose a number on a five-point scale, to show how accurately you think the statement describes you. Use 1 = Rarely or Never; 2 = Seldom; 3 = Sometimes; 4 = Often; and 5 = Very Often. Write your number on a piece of paper, then add up your score and consult the interpretation scale at the end. (Note: the even-numbered questions indicate personal control and the odd-numbered ones indicate control over others.)

Be as honest as you can. As you answer each question, imagine that someone who knows you well is looking over your shoulder - what would they say? Would they agree with your self-perception?

The Control Freak Quiz

1. Do you "help" other people drive the car - tell them what route to take, when to turn, where to park, remind them that the traffic light has changed? 1 = Never; 2 = Seldom; 3 = Sometimes; 4 = Often; and 5 = Very Often

2. Do you devote a lot of attention and energy to keeping your personal environment organised? 1 = Never; 2 = Seldom; 3 = Sometimes; 4 = Often; and 5 = Very Often

3. Do you give people a lot of "shoulds" and "oughts" - unsolicited advice, suggestions, and "constructive criticism?” 1 = Never; 2 = Seldom; 3 = Sometimes; 4 = Often; and 5 = Very Often

4. Do you have lots of personal rules, routines, rituals, and ceremonies? 1 = Never; 2 = Seldom; 3 = Sometimes; 4 = Often; and 5 = Very Often

5. Are you the one who takes over and orders other people around when the situation seems confused or chaotic? 1 = Never; 2 = Seldom; 3 = Sometimes; 4 = Often; and 5 = Very Often

6. Do you dislike depending on others, accepting help from them, or allowing them to do things for you? 1 = Rarely; Never; 2 = Seldom; 3 = Sometimes; 4 = Often; and 5 = Very Often

7. Do you insist on "being right," having things done your way, or having the final word? 1 = Never; 2 = Seldom; 3 = Sometimes; 4 = Often; and 5 = Very Often

8. Do you "over-plan" simple activities? 1 = Never; 2 = Seldom; 3 = Sometimes; 4 = Often; and 5 = Very Often

9. Do you find it difficult to admit making mistakes, being wrong or misinformed about something, or acknowledging that you've changed your mind? 1 = Never; 2 = Seldom; 3 = Sometimes; 4 = Often; and 5 = Very Often

10. Do you become angry, irritable, or anxious when someone or something makes you late, when things don't start on time, or things don't go according to plan? 1 = Never; 2 = Seldom; 3 = Sometimes; 4 = Often; and 5 = Very Often

Another great way to determine if you're too controlling is to ask yourself if your relationships feel competitive rather than complementary. Is there a lot of needless bickering or a desire to be right? If so, the only option you have, is to change yourself. Change the way you approach the relationship, and you will get a different result.

Interpret Your Score:

41 - 50: yep, you're a control freak.

31 - 40: you probably have some control issues.

21 - 30: you can live and let live.

10 - 20: are you being honest?

So how did you score? Ok, I’ll admit it, I have some control issues myself!

So what’s wrong with being a bit controlling?

Nothing—if you spend most of the time alone. But if you want to be happily married, or have your kids/boss/colleagues/partner/family like and respect you, being controlling probably won't get you there. I know it may not be as easy to hear, especially if it has developed into more serious conditions, like OCD. (Just for the record, OCD is a completely different ball game, so if you believe you have OCD, this may require specialist help, or unconditional acceptance from yourself and your loved one’s.) The key is, is to WANT to change. If you are quite happy with being controlling whether you or others like it or not, then it is your choice.

At the heart of your need to control is fear and your inability to trust. To have true unconditional love and great relationships in your life, you will need to give up control.

I know it's a tall order, however it can be done. First we need to rid of the belief that if we give up control, then somehow we become subservient, weak or we open ourselves to others controlling us. If we had more self respect and trust in ourselves, then we won’t need to control other people or situations to keep us safe. Remember, being controlling is just a habit we have learnt in our younger years to keep us safe. Letting go of control is truly liberating, because we make a personal statement that we trust ourselves and our loved one’s and it breaks us from the chains of our past.

One way to change a habit that doesn’t serve you is the use of mantras. You will need to repeat your mantra over and over again, every day for at least 12 days for it to redirect your brain into a new pattern. Let’s use the example of wanting to slow down more and not be in such a hurry. So you come up with a short, easy phrase that represents the change you want to make—such as, “I choose to slow down”—and you repeat that phrase every chance you get throughout the day. You can say it while you’re driving in a car or when you’re in the bathroom. You can say it when you’re doing the dishes, walking, or waiting in a queue. On any given day, there are a myriad of opportunities to repeat the simple phrase in your head. Over time, your brain will reset itself. In this case, slowing down will become a more natural state.

To be less controlling, then, you might say to yourself “I choose to say nothing” when your partner/kids/boss/parents say something to which you disagree. Instead of choosing the behaviour you think has the most potential for conflict, talk yourself into doing the opposite of that behaviour by creating a mantra that pushes you in that direction. It’s all about forming new habits. It can be difficult to get rid of a bad habit, but if you develop a new habit, it will eventually replace the old one and you won’t need to think about it anymore.

Another way to reduce your controlling tendencies is, for one week, do everything opposite to the way you would normally do it. Hmmmm that sounds a bit scary! However if you do this, it will rewire your brain into new ways of being. When your husband / wife / partner / kids / boss / friend / parents say something with which you disagree, say something like, “That’s interesting.” When you would normally interject your opinion, don’t. When you would normally complain, say something positive. When you would normally instruct, ask—preferably with a please or a thank you. When you would normally say no, say yes. You get the idea.

Then, sit back and watch what happens. You'll be amazed.

So my message for you this month is to put a stop to your control freak streak, and decide today, right now, to face your fears. What are you afraid of that makes you feel the need to take control? What happened in your past that made you skeptical of love or to get your needs met? Once you can see why you are controlling, and that it was only your brilliant defence mechanism protecting you, then you can start to release the hold it has on you now. When you have loosened your tight grip and you have let go, new opportunities and possibilities will present themselves to you. Bit by bit, little by little as you let go, surrender and trust, knowing you are safe and loved, a whole new amazing life will open up for you. Once you have shaken off the hold your controlling habits have on you, then not only do you release yourself, but your loved ones too.

This is liberation.

This is true FREEDOM.


By jakkie, Jun 5 2019 11:04AM

This was me in my early 20’s. No, I wasn’t into the hard stuff, (although copious amounts of alcohol was in my diet most days), for me I was addicted to food. I couldn’t stop stuffing my face. At the age of 25 I was 5 ft 3 inches and 13 stone (83 kilo’s) in weight. I had a great life. I had a fantastic career, great friends, a great boyfriend. I had money, I lived in a great part of London, I worked in Leicester Square and had everything a young woman could wish for. However I was deeply unhappy.

I tried so many diets and NONE of them worked. I’d starve myself for days then get so hungry I’d find myself eating the entire contents of the fridge in one sitting. Then I’d get disgusted with myself, hate myself for the lack of will power and hate myself for being so fat. So I’d starve myself again and the whole sorry vicious circle would start all over again.

I forgot I was like this because the person I was then is so different to the person I am now. I have been a stable 8 stone (50kg) for the past 25 years without even thinking about food or diets. In fact, I can’t relate myself to the person I was. I only know it was me because recently I found a whole load of my old diary's and have been absolutely engrossed in reading about my struggles and pain all of which I’d completely forgotten about.

It wasn’t until I worked as the designer on ‘Slimming’ magazine that I started to wake up. I followed every diet suggested in the magazine, I went on photo shoots with the ‘Slimmer of the year’ wishing it was me in the after shots. I was so jealous that they had managed to crack the answer to being slim and happy. It wasn’t until a year later, when we did the follow-up feature of the ‘Slimmer of the year’, that I realised they were just the same as me. They were still fat! All the weight they had lost had all come back again. It was then I realised that the answer was not dieting, the issue was something much much deeper than that. No one was looking at the root cause of the obsessive eating and the yoyo dieting, all they wanted was a quick fix. The symptom was being addressed but the underlying cause wasn’t.

After a few years I was promoted to art editor for a natural health magazine which opened up a whole new world to me. It lead me on a huge journey of self discovery and onto the line of work I do now.

I realised I was trying to fill the deep void within me with eating. It’s the classic ‘filling the hole inside with food’ syndrome. I found comfort in food, food made me feel better, but of course that was only temporary. I was desperate for love and I was finding it in all the wrong places. I was searching ‘out there’ when all the time everything I needed to make me feel whole was ‘in there’. Basically I hated myself and it took me a very long time and a very complex journey to finally love and respect myself. It was only until I truly loved myself, that the unhealthy patterns I had created in my life stopped, and my true life began.

Food addiction may not be life threatening but other substance addictions are, however all addictions are the same, they are all a disrespect for the self and a cry for love.

In the 1970s, a professor of Psychology in Vancouver called Bruce Alexander did an experiment on rats (yes I know poor rats!) He separated a group of rats and put each one in a cage on their own. They were given 2 bottles, one with water, the other was heroin in a water base. They did the same experiment with a group of rats who all lived together in the same cage. These rats had a great life as the cage was full of stimulating toys, the best rat-food, tunnels to scamper down and plenty of friends to play with: everything a rat about town could want.

The rats which were isolated only drank the heroin water. The rats who were with others in the rat- park only drank the water. They concluded that Addiction is the loss of connection, from self and others.

In 2001, the Portuguese government did something radical. They did a social experiment where they legalised all harmful drugs. They took the funding that was set up for rehabilitating addicts and instead used it to socialise them. In other words, instead of chastising addicts and forcing them to give up, they gave unconditional love, help and nurture. The results were astonishing. Even though the drugs were cheeper and legal, the abuse decreased by 50%.

We are connected as a society more than ever before through social media, yet we are the most isolated and loneliest society than ever before. More and more people are choosing to live alone, are divorced or prefer to separate themselves from family. We have become disconnected. Humans need love and nurture, not just to thrive but to survive, and if we don’t feel loved, by ourselves or others, then we find something else to fill the void, the hole, the bit that’s missing in our lives.

That missing is simply LOVE.

Love is the most powerful drug on the planet, and it’s free. We don’t even need to steal or take it from others, we have love within us all the time as a constant supply. We are love, but we forget to open our hearts and give that love to ourselves. We have an internal tap of love that most of the time we forget, or don’t want to turn on.

So my message to you this month is, whenever you find yourself reaching for the biscuit tin / bottle of wine / cigarettes or any other artificial mood changer, try giving yourself a natural high instead. Turn your internal LOVE TAP ON and give yourself the LOVE you crave.

Most people cringe when they hear the L word and it’s amazing how many people don’t like themselves let-alone love themselves. What would you do for yourself today if you really loved yourself? What choices would you make if you truly loved yourself? What is it that you’d LOVE for yourself but you don’t believe you can have? Would you treat your best friend/child/pet the same way you sometimes treat yourself? If you find it hard to love yourself, for whatever false reason you have made up about yourself, then at least be KIND to yourself. RESPECT yourself and be PROUD of the person you have become, because you have overcome many obstacles in your life to get where you are now. You have evolved into a spectacular person whether you believe it or not.

So next time you find yourself reaching for an artificial substance that gives you a quick kick, replace it with doing something that opens your heart, connect with someone or something you love and notice how that empty space miraculously disappears. Love isn’t a quick fix, it’ll never abandon you, it’ll never let you down.

Your heart is your biggest asset, so own it, use it and LOVE IT.

By jakkie, May 7 2019 06:22AM

OK lets face it, men really do come from Mars and women really do come from Venus! That would explain why we sometimes seem to live in opposite worlds. Well, I have news for you, we do!

The world we live in is made up of polarities: Sun/moon, black/white, hot/cold, north/south, summer/winter, male/female. All things on this planet are made to work in harmony with their opposite.

We live in an electric-magnetic Universe. Electric is masculine (output). Magnetic is feminine (input). Electric is force. Magnetic is form. The feminine energy, being the magnetic creative form, is able to understand the bigger picture of life, and offers much wisdom and empathy. The masculine energy, being creative electric force, manifests by targeting what it wants to accomplish, remaining focused on the task at hand, offering productivity and results. Without the masculine energy, the feminine is chaotic, nothing is manifest. It is stagnation. Without the feminine energy the masculine is a blind force, force with no meaning, emotion with no understanding, action with no reason, electricity with no outlet. One cannot exist without the other, we need the opposite energy for us to work, for the masculine and feminine energies are mirror reflections of the same force.

Male and female are complimentary qualities, like the 2 opposite ends to a battery, plus and minus. So to live in a harmonious, healthy relationships with the opposite sex, we need to learn how to accept and live in harmony with the opposite quality, rather than trying to make the opposite quality more like us.

At conception we all started off as female. Then when a gene determines to be male, then the ovaries turn in to testicles, the labia magora turn into the scrotum, clitoris turn into the tip of the penis. If you ended up being a female, you generally possess more feminine qualities (nurturing, receptive, intuitive, passive, left brained) If you are male, you generally possess more masculine qualities (logical, single minded, giving, active).

Whether you are male or female, you still have masculine and feminine qualities within you and these opposite qualities need to be expressed and in balance for harmony to exist within you as well as in your relationships. When you are in harmony with your own masculine and feminine qualities, then you are whole and complete and you won’t ‘need’ the opposite sex to make you complete, because completeness is within you.

When our partner is also complete, then we will experience harmonious and deep loving relationships which are not codependent. This is when a relationship with the opposite sex works. Once we have healthy masculine and feminine qualities playing out in our lives, we have a respect for the opposite sex as opposed to conflict with the opposite sex.

The masculine and feminine principles actively express themselves within your body. Right side (masculine) governed by your left brain. The left side of your body is governed by the right side. If you are more dominant or dormant in either the masculine or feminine, then an imbalance of this natural energy flow gets disrupted. You may see evidence of it in your health, showing up as dis-ease in your bones muscles, organs on the one side only. If you deny or avoid the opposite quality within you, it may indicate that you still have an issue with the opposite sex. Maybe you were wronged or harmed by the opposite sex in the past, or you still hold onto a collective belief about women being wronged by men, or men being wronged by women. If this is the case for you, then you can be sure it will be playing out in your relationships.

When we have conflict with the opposite sex or their qualities, then the fine balance or synergy of those forces become destructive and turn into unhealthy dominant forces. The male may over dominate by having rules and structure, and the female may over dominate by control and emotional manipulation.

So my message to you this month is to embrace your feminine and embrace your masculine within you. Enjoy the strengths in both. Use your feminine intuitive wisdom to birth new exciting ideas, then use your linear, logical masculine to manifest the idea into form. By embracing both your Yin and your Yang, you become whole and complete. Use this knowledge to then make your relationships with the opposite sex more harmonious. When you learn how to embrace your strengths, you automatically learn how to honour theirs.

A healthy masculine in partnership is choosing to be active in giving to the other. A healthy feminine in partnership is choosing to let go and receive the giving of the masculine. This is the fluid cycle of giving and receiving. This doesn’t mean that the female has to surrender to the man’s will, no, it’s learning how to work in harmony with the opposite principle, learning about your individual strength as a man or a woman and using it in harmony with the opposite force.

When we have all learnt these simple principles, then I believe wars will end, the need to be right will fade away. Control, manipulation and force will be replaced with ease, flow and synergy.

This is the law of polarity working in its truest power.

This is harmony.

So let’s all work together to bring harmony and balance back into this world, where man and woman love and respect each other now and always.

It starts with you.

By jakkie, Apr 4 2019 08:20AM

Magic is around us all the time, whether we’re aware of it or not.

Shooting stars are popping about above our heads every night, but we’re too fast asleep to notice. Coincidences are at play behind the scenes every day of our lives, yet we don’t connect the dots. Serendipity is ready and waiting to play its part for us, but sometimes we choose to walk the other way. Magic is everywhere and guess what? We create it! It’s up to us whether we’re at the right place at the right time. It’s up to us to follow a hunch. It’s up to us to decide what we think or how we feel to create our magic. We are the creators of our lives, even if we pretend that we’re not.

This is what happened to me the other day.

My partner and I were on a road trip in our Motorhome for a few weeks as I had a couple of workshops scheduled, and a few clients to see further up the coast of Queensland.

I usually pack everything but the kitchen sink on one of our road trips, however a few days into our trip I realised I’d forgotten the washing powder. I made a mental note to self to get some when we were next at the shops. Five minutes later, I was just on my way back to the van from using the campsite bathroom, when a man approached me carrying something. He said, ‘Excuse me, but do you want this? We don’t need it anymore as we’re flying back home tomorrow’. He pushed something into my hands and guess what it was? A box of washing powder! I couldn’t believe it! Well, actually yes I could, because these coincidences and serendipity moments happen to me quite a lot these days.

How do I do it?

After many, many years of learning about the law of cause and effect, and the law of attraction, I’m starting to really get it.

I know that I create everything in my life. I used to create stuff I didn’t want, so this was where I did most of my learning. Although I’m still learning, I’m now very aware that to consciously create, I have to watch my thoughts. I work on aligning myself everyday, walking my talk and listening to my whispers. When a fearful thought pops in, I replace it with a loving thought. When something feels out of integrity, I resolve it as quickly as I can to get myself back into alignment with my truth. When I get angry, annoyed, frustrated I allow the feelings to flow through me, then out of me, I then do whatever it takes to get back to a place of peace.

When I want something in my life, I visualise it, feel what it feels like to have it, I draw it to me by my desire, then I let all expectations go. Expectations push the thing I want away, because it’s a forcing energy as opposed to a flowing, grateful energy. I then put relevant actions into place to keep the energy flowing in the direction of my desire. I then let go and TRUST!

These are the laws of manifestation. When you stay in alignment with your desire, by taking the relevant actions and acting as if the outcome you want is already here, it will come!

I wasn’t constantly thinking, ‘Washing powder, Washing powder’, for my gift to be given, I believe it’s because I’m so in the flow now, things just seem fall into place. By constantly aligning my life and affirming, ‘I’m always at the right place at the right time’ (which is one of the affirmations I repeat every morning before I get up), things just slot into place for me.

There was another time a few years ago when we were on the road travelling, and after quite a few months, I was starting to feel a little starved of like-minded people. I missed my clients, friends and my yoga community. So I sent out a request to find this somehow while we were on the road travelling. Out of the blue I got a phone call from a man who saw an old house sitting advert of ours on the internet. He was desperate to find a house and dog sitter as they were going away that weekend and their usual house sitter had cancelled at the last minute. We just so happened to be in their area and so we said yes. Can you imagine my shock as we drove up to the house to find that it wasn’t just their home, but also a yoga studio! If that wasn’t enough, I was lead from there to a whole community of like minded people and ended up staying in that area for 3 months teaching yoga, running workshops and absorbing myself within the amazing community which was right on my doorstep.

These synchronistic events just never used to happen to me. Oh no, before I learnt to take responsibility for my life, everything was very different indeed! I used to attract so much bad luck that I believed I was a failure, so much so, that I used to think my life was jinxed. This was before I realised that my thoughts and unconscious beliefs were creating my bad luck. I learnt the hard way, however I’m here to tell you that MAGIC HAPPENS! Because YOU are magic!

You may have already experienced your magic.

It can be as simple as a friend phoning you just when you were thinking of them. Or you’re watching something on the TV and texting a friend at the same time, then you hear the very same word said on the TV as the word that you’re texting to your friend. Or you need a parking space, so you send out a request for one and a car pulls out right in front of you, leaving you the perfect place to park. You may wish for something and the very next day, it appears. They’re all the same magic working through the same laws and the only thing that stops you experiencing the magic more often, is purely because you haven’t yet mastered how to use the laws of manifestation.

So my message for you this month is to remind you that you are powerful, so much so that you can create your wildest dreams, despite your past and despite what you’re facing right now. All you have to do is believe it and keep taking action in alignment with that belief. Your beliefs create, so believe that you are good enough, actually, not just good enough, but believe you are almighty!! Believe that you CAN instead of that you CAN’T. Believe you are healthy, believe you are loveable, believe you are a success, believe you are rich, believe you are capable of anything and everything. Believe in YOURSELF.

Believe in MAGIC. Because you ARE magic.

“Your beliefs become your thoughts, Your thoughts become your words,

Your words become your actions, Your actions become your habits,

Your habits become your values, Your values become your destiny.”

― Mahatma Gandhi

By jakkie, Mar 5 2019 09:40AM

Over the many years of working with people’s bodies and minds, it still blows me away at how our body tells us everything about who we are. It tells us of our past, our experiences, our thoughts, our emotions, our beliefs, our health, our personality.

Our biography is our biology and it shows up in our posture, our arms, our legs, our skin, our organs, our cells, our face, even our poo (sorry, but yes it does!!)

The body tells us EVERYTHING we need to know about ourselves. If you have attended one of my workshops or courses, then I know you know this already, however it's always good to be reminded that our body holds our truth.

When I see a stranger walk down the street, I can tell what sort of person they are. I can tell this by how they hold their body, by how they walk, how fast or slow they are going, how they’re using their energy, their eyes, their arms and hands. This is our body language and in the past we used this skill for survival. To read the person walking towards you could’ve been the difference between life and death. We needed this skill to keep us safe and we used it with every interaction we had.

We all still have this skill, however most of us have forgotten how to use it, basically because we don’t need it to keep us safe anymore, certainly not to the degree we used to.

So let’s put this skill back to use, not necessarily to observe someone else, but to understand ourselves a whole lot better. Because our body can tell us everything we want to know. Our body holds all the answers we will ever need. Our body shows us what decision to make in any given situation, it also tells us when something in our life is out of whack. Not only that, but our body tells us who we are, just by observing our posture.

Over time, our body bends and shapes itself depending on what we tell it to do. We’re not aware we are instructing our body to do this, because we do it unconsciously through our habitual thoughts and unconscious beliefs. Our thoughts and beliefs are responsible for our body chemistry changes via our nervous system. The classic example is the placebo effect. If we believe we have taken a drug that’ll get us better (the placebo drug), our brain instructs the body to heal by releasing the appropriate chemicals to the area that needs it. So therefore, it wasn’t the drug that made us well again, it was our belief that we’ll be cured that got us well again.

The same applies to our day to day thoughts and beliefs. If we constantly have fearful thoughts, the body will bend inwards to protect our vital organs. Over time we will have rounded shoulders and a curved spine and a tucked in pelvis. On the other hand, If we are more trusting, open and sociable, over time the body will open up creating a wide chest, a straight spine and an outward tilted pelvis.

Your body is the mirror of your unconscious, so by looking at your posture, it will tell you everything you need to know about your unconscious thoughts.

Our unconscious thoughts and beliefs shape our body over time. Our body may even obey our unconscious needs which were set up in our childhood.

I saw a client the other day who was telling me the story of how he has to be a support for everyone in his life, his employees, his friends, his sister, his parents, his wife, they all rely on him to be their rock and he was just so tired of it. Yet I knew, within his unconscious, he created this role. Being a rock for everyone else made him feel important, needed and loved. He learnt as a boy, that if he did favours for people, he’d be liked and valued in return. The constant favours turned into a habit which then became his life. His body told me this story before he even opened his mouth, because his body was built as solid as a rock, just how he wanted others to view him. His muscles were so tight and unyielding. His shoulders were weighed down with the burdens of his responsibilities. His body was sagging with fatigue. He came to me to help him fix his aching muscles, yet I knew nothing would change unless we looked at the root cause first, and that was within his unconscious mind.

Your body is so clever that it also holds the answer to any questions you have about yourself and your life. Ask it a question and it will give you an answer. I found out the exact time of my birth, to the very second, by asking my body. I even found out where I had lost my car keys! Using kinesiology, dowsing, energy tuning, meditation, hypnosis or any other method that taps into your unconscious, you can ask your body anything. This might include whether you are allergic to certain foods, why you have certain health issues, why you keep repeating the same patterns, you can even ask if it’s a good time to move house or have a career move! Your body holds such profound wisdom, yet we so easily give our power away to others and prefer other people to give us our answers. We have learnt to trust other peoples opinions rather than our own.

I am such an advocate for reminding people to use their own power and innate wisdom, a power and wisdom that will never let us down.

Aristotle once said, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” The relationship with yourself is one of the most important relationships in your life.

So my message for you this month is to remind you that you have all the answers you need within you. Your soul knows it all. All you need to do is listen. Listen to what your body is communicating to you through your sore back, your tight shoulders, your coughs and colds, your stooping posture, your crossed arms, your tight gut, your itching skin, your weight loss, your weight gain, your high blood pressure, your excitement, your pumping adrenalin, your blushed neck, your rosy cheeks, your weeping eyes, your butterflies, your pounding heart, your breathlessness.

Listen to the YES's and to the NO’s within your gut and in your heart. Look at your body, listen to your body and trust you have all your answers.

What is your body telling you right now? What wisdom is your body wanting to share with you? Take a moment to look, listen and feel into your body, and notice what happens.

By jakkie, Feb 4 2019 05:17AM

I don’t mean religiously doing your forward bends, your downward dogs or your trikonasana’s. I’m referring to the stretching of your MIND and your HEART.

Stretching our mind and heart can be anything from learning a new skill, widening our perceptions, getting out of our comfort zone, opening our hearts to fully love, or pushing our boundaries of what’s possible for ourselves and our lives. When we stretch our minds and hearts, we expand our SPIRIT.

When you stretch your mind and heart, you grow.

Something that seemed linear to you a year ago now looks more 3D. Your perceptions and beliefs change and you are able to see a bigger picture. You become more willing, more open, more loving, more confident, more alive. If you feel this on a daily basis, then you are expanding as a spirit.

However most of us resist, at all costs, to not stretch ourselves. We love to stay in our comfort zone where it feels safe and secure. We absolutely love to cling to what we know, however it doesn’t get us anywhere, we might even start to feel a little dead inside. We start to lose our passion and life appears grey and pointless. And because we prefer to live with the devil we know as opposed to the devil we don’t, we probably start to attract upset or crisis in our lives where we are then forced to stretch and grow.

I was starting to feel this in my own life, I could sense the old feeling of stuck-ness emerging. I had stopped growing and stagnation was starting to set in. Crisis was beginning to emerge into areas of my life, so I knew the time had come to stretch myself again.

Stretching has never been a real issue for me as I do love change, however stretching with ease is a whole different ball game. I would usually resist, force or get frustrated and impatient with my stretching, so I have learnt that to stretch with confidence, the right attitude is essential.

Firstly, I had to let go of the belief that stretching is painful. Yes there might be a little pain at the beginning, just like feeling the soreness in our muscles after our first ever yoga class, however that soon disappears and is replaced with a sense of achievement.

Secondly, I knew I needed to apply a bit of will power and determination, because lets face it, I hate not getting it right first go, I don’t like to fail so I can be very hard on myself. I had to learn to take tiny baby stretches, rather than go headfirst into ONE BIG STRETCH, that would do more damage than good.

Thirdly, I had to go into it with a sense of detachment and take my judgement about what people thought about me out of the equation. Stretching is not a competition with others, it’s about me and my personal goals and to not let other peoples success rate affect me.

So actually, it wasn’t the activity that stretched me, it was how I responded to the activity which is what really stretched me.

This is what I did to stretch myself.

Firstly, I learnt a new skill. I learnt to trapeze at the circus! (yes you heard right!) On my first class, we were all shown how to climb long silk ropes right up into the rafters, and then hang from them in a very elegant way, then slide down the silk ropes without falling or getting burns between the thighs! Of course I couldn’t do it!! In fact I couldn’t even lift myself off the ground because I had such little arm strength. My inner voice said, "I’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO DO THIS!” However once I quelled my inner voice and impatience, 18 weeks later, I was climbing like a monkey up to the roof and sliding down with only minimal thigh burns! I also learnt how to hang upside down (without being sick) in all sorts of positions on a swinging trapeze.

To stretch myself further, I have been learning about social media, funnel systems, landing pages and membership sights and all the ‘Plugins’ that I need to get my online healing work to the next level. Initially this distressed the pants off me. I’m not a technical person and I was being pushed and squeezed into a shape I was not comfortable with. I started to resist and get upset by it. I realised I had the belief that I HAVE to be as good as all these other people that have mastered their craft online and who seem to be OH SO MUCH MORE successful than me. I had to give up the belief that I am a failure, and know that I was trying to push myself far too hard and get the results overnight that others have taken years to master.

So once I started to go at a pace that was right for ME, which was slow baby steps, I started to see small positive results - perfect for the stage I’m at right now.

My other stretch is that FINALLY, after 15 years of living by the Ocean, I can stand up on a surf board! This took me ages to master, however by letting go of the belief that, ‘I JUST CAN’T DO IT!’, and ‘I’m WAY TOO OLD FOR THIS’, and switched it to ‘I CAN DO THIS’ I have finally mastered surfing (well, standing up in a very wobbly manner). I now LOVE the waves and the joy it brings me. I even surfed with a dolphin the other day!

My biggest stretch last year was to re-establish myself in a new town, within a new community, where I didn’t know a soul and to make friends and build up local work. There was a real temptation to run back to where I used to live, to a place of safety and where I felt a sense of belonging. I felt myself withdrawing into my old familiar pattern of hiding myself away, so I wouldn’t be judged, labelled or have to ‘prove’ myself to anyone. After decades of doing self development on myself, I couldn’t believe I was still feeling insecure about who was and the work I do.

This had to be nipped in the bud right away! (OK, so it might have taken quite a few months actually!) I did what I know works best for me to achieve this. I meditated, I practiced my yoga, I took walks in nature to get out of my ego and connect with my true self and my purpose. I then pulled upon my inner strength, gave myself a good kick up the backside, then went all out to get myself and my work out there. I’m so pleased I did, because I know I have helped heal many peoples lives through my work and have made some lovely friends in the process.

So my message to you this month is, if you feel a little flat or a little stuck in your life, it's time to STRETCH. The more you get out of your comfort zone and start experiencing things you don’t believe are possible, the more it becomes possible. The more things become possible, the more you grow, the more you grow the more unbelievable things will show up for you. If you’re not expanding and growing, then you’re dying. Your spirit will wither away inside of you instead of thriving and expanding.

So what new challenge are you going to set yourself this Year? What positive approach are you going to apply to it? What usually happens when you try a new skill to then sabotage it? What are you going to do differently this time?

GO FOR IT, then please share your stories with me, because I’m behind you every stretch of the way!!

By jakkie, Jan 7 2019 05:49AM

Have you ever made a new year resolution with an absolute commitment to stick to it, and yet by February all your good intentions have gone down the pan and you’re back in the old patterns? Well you’re not alone. Most people don’t stick to their resolutions despite all their good intentions.

Why is this? What happens between the absolute certainty that your life is going to change, to being back to square one?

It’s simple. Nothing is going to change if you don't. Your habits, your thoughts and your beliefs are responsible for the life you have right now.

If these don't change, then your life won't change. 

It’s all to do with your unconscious thoughts and beliefs and nothing to do with your will power (although that does help). You already know that 95% of your life is controlled by your unconscious and most of the time the 5% of your conscious just doesn’t get a look in……unless you bring the unconscious to the conscious, then consciously reprogram it! All a bit confusing and daunting to accomplish I know, however it can be as simple as choosing to think differently. 

As human beings, we are incredibly powerful but most of the time we just don’t know it. We have built within us, incredible manifestation powers. We have within us the same power as the cyclone that flattens whole continents. We have the same power within us as the salmon that swims upstream to spawn its eggs. We have the same power within us as the dormant seed that knows exactly when to grow, blossom and bloom. We have the same power within us as electricity that shines brightly once its been plugged into the mains. We are pure love energy that has been known to move mountains in moments of need. We are electromagnetic meaning we are energy vibrations and we are magnetic, drawing to us whatever we intend.

We have an innate wisdom within us that guides us to the right people and the right circumstances at the right time. So how come, that if we have so much wisdom and power, our life doesn't always turn out how we want it to?

If you truly want something, more than life itself, then it will come. The secret to manifestation is your unwavering belief that it WILL happen as if it's already your reality. It will come to you when you NEVER listen to other people who say NO it can’t. You will succeed when you have absolute confidence that IT WILL HAPPEN. If you ignore the knock backs and past failings and continue as if it WILL come, then it WILL COME. When you align your life and you act out in accordance to your belief, then things will show up that mirror your belief. When you absolutely believe something to be true, you program your unconscious to believe it too, and when your unconscious believes it, then that 95% in all its power, will create it for you. This is a the power of attraction. This is universal LAW.

We slip up or fail when we doubt. We might not even know that we doubt until we are truly honest with ourselves. Do you really want this? Do you really believe you are worthy? Do you honestly think you are capable? 

Here is an exercise you can try.
Fill in the dotted lines below with your statement of what you really want for yourself and for your life:

'I truly believe I will have............................................................'

'I truly believe I will create..........................................................'

'I truly believe I am worthy of .....................................................' 

Now say these completed sentences to yourself out loud. Notice how your body feels with each sentence you say out loud.

Is 100% of your being saying ‘YES’ or is there a little part that doesn't believe it? Are you saying, ‘I really want it, but what if …….................……………….......…’ (fill in the ‘what if’).

Once you understand what the resistance is, and once you’ve removed the doubt and truly believe deep within your being that it’s true, then it will come true.

So my message to you for 2019 is to remember how amazing you are, how powerful you are and how much you deserve to have all you wish for. Life is too short not to live it fully with all your heart. Life is a precious gift given especially to you to enjoy. You were not born to be worried, fearful, regretful, resentful or sad. Life is there for you to create whatever you want for yourself, regardless of your past, your responsibilities or your excuses. Because without a doubt you are awesome, you are powerful and you deserve to be happy and fulfilled. Whether you believe this or not, it's up to you!!

By jakkie, Nov 7 2018 04:37AM

What is your soul calling you to do?

It doesn’t have to be some BIG master plan to change the world, it can be what you need in your life right now. When you take action on the calling of your soul and choose to do whatever it takes to go to your next level, you will not just be doing it for yourself, but you will be doing it for the benefit of all.

Some say doing what you are called to do is egocentric and selfish. No way! Serving yourself is committing to create a life long lasting change for your happiness which will impact so many others in a profoundly positive way.

So serving your soul is NOT selfish or denying others. Serving your soul is VITAL for your happiness and vital for other people’s happiness - because we are a much nicer person when our needs have been met, right?!

Today I am reminding you of your power (think back to all you have overcome in your life!) and your ability to transform anything in your life that isn't serving you.

You are powerful. You are worthy. You are a creator. You are so loved.

So do you know what your soul is calling you to do? Here are some questions to ask yourself to get a little clearer.

1. What self sabotage, sadness, pain or dissatisfaction am I putting up with?

2. If I could change anything in my personal life, what would it be?

3. If I could change anything in my professional life, what would it be?

4. How do I stop myself from making change in my life?

5. What is my soul calling me to do?

When I wrote this piece, I did this exercise myself and I wrote down a few key words for my own souls calling. These were; To feel. To express. To be free. To laugh. To be the light. To share the wisdom. My soul is calling me to be ME and to use all my gifts in creative ways to serve others. I have compassion, I can see others unconscious sabotage patterns with such clarity. I yearn to follow the path I was born for and to embellish it, to enhance it, to create a new way forward that not just serves me, but serves all.

YAY that is me right now!

What is you right now?

It doesn’t have to be a big Hollywood movie plan as I said before. It can be to follow whatever you yearn for at this moment in your life.

What is your soul calling you to do for YOU right now? What is your soul calling you to do for others? Write them down. I bet once you start you won't be able to stop. Go a bit WILD with the yearning. What in your wildest dreams would you like for yourself and your life? This is your life. You chose it.

So my message for you this month is to serve your soul. GO FOR IT!! Embrace your fears and live your truth NOW. Not next week, not next month or in a year, because this moment will go and your soul will have a different story in your future.

Serve that inner yearning, and if you find the yearning hard to find, then you’re not listening hard enough. All the signs are there. They are there when you cry at a chick flick. They are there when you get jealous of others. They are there when you get angry at the injustices of the world. They are there when you get resentful. They are there when you yearn for others to understand you. They are there when you get tired. They are there when you get stressed. They are there when you laugh out loud and wish you did that more. They are there when you crave peace and quiet.

What is your soul calling you to do?

So what is stopping you from doing this?

Why do you not wish the best life for yourself and others?

Why do you not follow your souls calling?

Now share your insights with me and others. Because when we support each other in our souls calling, we feel heard. We collectively forge forward to live the best possible life for ourselves and others. We commit to being the best version of ourselves.

This is the real you.

This is freedom!

By jakkie, Aug 20 2018 08:04AM

Not wanting to sound like a Monty Python film but……

What is the meaning of life?

What are we here for?

What the hell’s it all about?

What is the point?

What do we care anyway?

We eat, we sleep, we shit, we die!

Do you ever hear yourself saying these things? I know I have.

Why do we put so much meaning on things that we think are so important? Why stress about things, when at the end of the day won’t matter because we’ll be 6 feet underground! Our life feels so REAL and SO important, we are the centre of our universe and everything operates around us like an electron around a nucleus. Life just wouldn’t survive if we weren’t there propping it up! We are so caught up in our egocentric world that we forget to see the bigger picture. We forget to see that we are just a mere grain of sand that sits with billions of other grains of sand, that make up a desert, that make up a tiny part of the earths surface, that is part of a galaxy, which is part of a universe, which is part of a multiverse…and so it goes on!

So would it really matter if we didn’t exist?

Yes absolutely it would, because even though you are just a mere grain of sand, you are a unique grain that holds a unique gift and talent that gives the desert its shape and colour. Your uniqueness works in collaboration with the other unique grains that help the desert to evolve and grow, and as we evolve and grow as individuals, we help the collective to evolve and grow. The desert then becomes a tropical paradise full of rich fertile land, and so the cycle of life continues.

I believe that our life, however significant or insignificant we feel, we always have a choice of how to play it. We can chose to play rough and hard, or we can choose to play soft and yielding. We can choose which path to take, whether it’s a path full of adventure and fun, or a path full of suffering and sadness. We have a choice as to whether we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves down and continue our unique journey with an open heart, or we can choose to get stuck in the injustices of life and be miserable. We can choose to love or we can choose to hate. We can choose to better ourselves or we can choose to vegetate. Everything always boils down to choice.

Our life is a brilliant opportunity to learn, evolve and grow. The planet earth is a fertile land in which we can express ourselves through many different mediums and on many different soils. We can take our pick of what theme we want our life to have and what experiences we want to gain. I often hear people say, ‘Oh but I don’t have a choice’. This is such a common phrase when someone doesn’t want to take responsibility for their life, however we ALWAYS have a choice. Look a little closer at the excuses as to why you can’t do something. Are they real? Are they true? Even a person who has lost the use of their arms and legs and declares “I CAN’T WALK and I CAN’T WRITE”, there is always a way forward. There are always different ways of doing things. When you are willing to see an alternative to what you currently have, then there are always solutions.

The point is, that if we feel we have a purpose in what we do, then there is a point. We all have a purpose in life and it doesn't have to be one big grand life mission, it can be lots of simple things, such as making sure the garden is watered or that you made your lonely neighbour laugh today. It's our contribution that counts and it's often the smallest acts that are often the most profound.

When we understand WHY we do something, then there is a point. So for example, if WHY we do our job is just to pay the mortgage, then it can feel pretty pointless. However if we create a different context to the WHY, then suddenly the reason why we do something has a purpose. For example, we can change the WHY we do our job to something which is more purposeful, it could be to help your family stay healthy / to make a customer happy / to express your creativity / to learn new skills / to become a better person, whatever you make the job mean for you, then there is a point and you have a purpose. Having a purpose brings about fulfilment.

If we are unhappy in life, it often means that we don't have a purpose and usually that is because we have lost our way. When we lose our way, it’s because we have stopped listening to our internal compass. We all came into this life with a compass to help us make good choices and to take the right path. We have the same mechanism within us that the birds have when migrating, that the salmon has to know where to spawn, that the rose has to know when to open and that the tides know when to be high or low. If we listen to the inner pull of our inner compass, then we will sail through life with ease. If we ignore the pull of our inner compass, then we will experience chaos, disorder, struggle and discontentment.

This inner compass is our intuition. We all have it but not all of us are willing to listen to it. I’m sure you have experienced that feeling of ‘Yes’ for it to quickly turn into a ‘No’ seconds later. This is our logic mind taking over. Our mind is ALWAYS interfering with our inner compass. Our mind is so powerful that it will convince us outright as to why we can’t do something and will even bring us evidence to prove it to us. However our soul is far more powerful, and so when we start to make decisions from our inner knowing, as opposed to our mind or ego, our life shifts back on track and miracles start to happen.

So I believe the meaning of life is knowing how to be a co-creator with god/the universe, and to learn how to become a master of our choices. It is our choice to make this planet the best place it can possibly be for us all to live on, not just now, but for generations to come. Let your time on this planet be your legacy. Be the grain of sand that helps shape and shift the entire planet.

So my message to you this month is know you have a purpose. Even if you don’t feel you have contributed much, know that you have and that you are now. Just by you being YOU and showing up in your full colours is enough. Just by making the small choices in every moment can make a difference. The choice to smile at a stranger, the choice to be kind, the choice to be loving and compassionate.

Choose to be happy not sad. Choose to follow your inner compass and the whispers of your soul, because when you do, other people follow your lead. Then the world will be one big happy place to live.

So all together now....


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